To Finally Fly Apart Said The Teddybear To Sidra Sid

"literally they are around the corner from the subway," sidra said to teddy

"is there going to be crack," teddy responded "teddy gets the shakes."

clink clink clink

the ice falls into the glass. sidra empties the bottle of vodka into the glass then empties the glass onto teddy

he just lies there soaking it all in. he has no skeletal structure. he's all fluff inside for her. she used to be hugs and now she is this:

"you little motherfucker! why don't you care about me?"

teddy thinks "because i'm not real." somewhere in the center of teddy there lays a suicide note written by a factory worker named rebecca.

the note read:

i try hard not to look in
but in my defense
the walks aren't shorter
from my aunt's home to work
or from work to my aunt's room
and her sermons keep gettin longer
on this gutter's winter arms
silver daggers
men are half human half dogs
there are no non hybrids in this world

my father used to drive me around
with one hand on the steering wheel
and the other choking the neck of
a vodka bottle and the radio would
play such swaggering sounds.

bye

ten years later teddybear's seams finally give up the fight and disappear. as he slowly opens out he says "to finally fly apart" while sidra, on the other side of the closet door, cries about her boyfriend on the phone.

the chemical brunch of loveless systems

Dear you,

i was nervous. excuse me. hmmm. i was excited but thought i was nervous. i'm in touch with nothing in myself except my teeth. when my teeth hurt i know it. when my heart beats fast, thick and heavy i assume i'm nervous. last night, though, it was excitement. warm wet tingling cement.

just before you left i put you on the spot. i'm sorry. because i thought i was nervous i couldn't talk. i just gawked. i just sneered. i looked down at your bottle of beer. anything not to have my arousal jump up and down you. i drank whiskey across the room. it helped smooth out the nerves. someone offered me marijuana. i went for it. there was trepidation on my part. what if the whiskey combined with the weed combined with my hammering heart caused my adoration to spill out in teardrops and passing out. that wouldn't be cute. the whiskey and the weed calmed me down. still i tasted my lunch.

now calm i noticed that you seemed nervous. you yelped when we talked about Black Lipstick. you ran to the living room. i stood there by myself. this happened alot that night not just with you but with other people. for you i'd tear the complex apart. i'd prefer to forget this world of handshakes for a night of my fingertips on your arm. complete forgiveness even though i know you could care less about gestures like that. forgiveness i mean.

you're hot.

PS: why did they serve scrambled eggs and such?