the chemical brunch of loveless systems

Dear you,

i was nervous. excuse me. hmmm. i was excited but thought i was nervous. i'm in touch with nothing in myself except my teeth. when my teeth hurt i know it. when my heart beats fast, thick and heavy i assume i'm nervous. last night, though, it was excitement. warm wet tingling cement.

just before you left i put you on the spot. i'm sorry. because i thought i was nervous i couldn't talk. i just gawked. i just sneered. i looked down at your bottle of beer. anything not to have my arousal jump up and down you. i drank whiskey across the room. it helped smooth out the nerves. someone offered me marijuana. i went for it. there was trepidation on my part. what if the whiskey combined with the weed combined with my hammering heart caused my adoration to spill out in teardrops and passing out. that wouldn't be cute. the whiskey and the weed calmed me down. still i tasted my lunch.

now calm i noticed that you seemed nervous. you yelped when we talked about Black Lipstick. you ran to the living room. i stood there by myself. this happened alot that night not just with you but with other people. for you i'd tear the complex apart. i'd prefer to forget this world of handshakes for a night of my fingertips on your arm. complete forgiveness even though i know you could care less about gestures like that. forgiveness i mean.

you're hot.

PS: why did they serve scrambled eggs and such?