Magician Seeks SF 2 Perform Tricks On.......

I am looking for a petulant, sinister, bourgeois, fecund, cantankerous, insolent feminine transexual of legal age (old hags full of worms need not apply) interested in being cut down in half and made to feel invisible.

I am 43, single, intelligent, hardworking, funny, athletic and muscular black man with the slightest hint of multiple personality disorder. E-mail me with the intent of showing the mystery of you and i will reveal the secret of why you might be the one, and make sure to include a recent photo. (If you're ugly and you know it clap your hands....................GOTCHA FUCKFACE!!!)

I plan on moving to Prague within the next year and would love to blow this burg of losers. No Homo. I have a few friends in Budapest (that's in the Czech Rep right?) but they are all ex-patriot perverts and cheapos. I thought about simply posting a traveloque about the Czech Republic but I don't see why I shouldn't try to make some romance before i leave. I would describe myself as confident, mature, international-minded, professional, easy-going, and appreciative of all things casual. My parents are English teachers. No one so far has been scared away from my looks except for Raul and that's a long Neil Simonesque story. I have pictures of me standing next to WWF champion Andre the Giant that hopefully will prove my beauty to you!

Anyway, I am in my 30s, single, asian male with oh how do I put this....his shit together and......a pencil thin mustache (haha i am a magician)! I have a career, the best family & friends (I am a little biased) who have ever existed. I'm grounded, driven, spiritual, a cut above average and seek to meet someone a little humble. It's a jungle out there.

First of all, I am not the kind of city girl who just dates and shit. I have hit it and quit it but now i have another life to think about. I have plenty of opportunities to go out with guys but I have enough confidence to allow me to wait on the one who is going to make me forget what I was thinking at the moment. Huh? What? I'm so pretty i don't have to make sense? Got it? Good! I don't need some motherfucker coming around trying to fuck up my shit, getting up in my fucking shit, telling me to stop shaking my fucking head all the time. It's my fucking head Raul!! Step bitch!

Physical attraction is huge and takes a long time to type so don't waste my time fellas. She is sincere, understands humility (as a word and a concept), and is passionate about certain things.
Who are you talking to? Shut up shut up!!! One thing you must know about me is I AM very passionate about certain things: my job, my desires/passions, my family/friends, and trying to be the greatest girl ever created by you know who. God is my reason and my will.

I am a 25 year old student (i know i know, graduate already..........godddddd), ginger haired, slight build, more bookish then bo hunk, raised on an Orchard in Vermont so this guy smells like apples and pears. I appreciate a girl who has goals and is independent enough to achieve them without someone hitting them to finish.

Ideally, I would like to find a girl who comes from a great family and desires more than anything to have kids of her own. Oh and by the way, being a mom is just about the coolest thing i've ever done. Opinion. I mean, the full-time, never-ending job of being responsible for raising children in this world is way more important than any paid job I will ever do! I never finished high school and don't have an appreciation for the arts.

The point is, or at least the way I see it is being together is a team effort (can you tell I am an athlete;) and I believe in someday working together with YOU (the future love of my life) to do whatever it is we need to do to get this magic act off the ground. I'm tired of playing these crap clubs. The last one was like "Rawhide" bar in The Blues Brothers.

Once you get to us you will realize we are legion. We wish to accomplish many things in our lifetime, but the most important, no doubt, is to be THE BEST wife/husband/husband/wife and dad we can be someday. More on that later. Basically I am an "all-growed up" kid with a great job (designer........that's right ladies. we don't come a dime a dozen) and HUGE aspirations. I am looking for the kind of person who is starting to see the grand scheme and the four little men in the bank vault. Some qualities I love: faith, trustworthiness (as in she is not going to be posting stupid ads for casual encounters; how sad!), sincerity, understands humility (as a noun and not a verb), infectious smile (not infectious teeth, hahaha), hispanic booty a must, easygoing, smart, funny, slop on top and an eagerness to learn the art of being a magician's assistant. Well, if you got this far and still understand what the heck it is we are talking about, I think you and i and him nad her would get along great.

abracadabra i'm out,
Todd