this week's qoute

"i don't want a ten. i want a smart, secure five."

my friend Adolpho, on receiving an email for a Perfect 10 online dating service.

bullock's herald

DSC00012, originally uploaded by beast of all notions.

andy took this

overheard a few days ago on the N train

She looks like Jennifer Beals.

Yeah but chubby like she's 3 or 4 months pregnant.

But hotter because of it.

Right.

Absolutely.

How'd you meet?

At some gallery opening for a friend of her's from college.

Gallery? Paintings or sculpture or..............

Eeesh! Like you know art.

You always have to be a asshole don't you?

Alright alright. There were paintings and they were all part of a series.

A series about what?

All the paintings were of a karoake bar above a fish market. Each painting showed a different time of day. So you'd see people passing by the fish market and people up in the bar.

Sounds like shit.

It was shit. That's how i met her though.

Where'd you hear about it?

I didn't. I saw her walking down the street and followed her. She went into the gallery and i followed.

They don't have a guest list for that?

Nope.

Well.....................she's hot. How are you going to keep her interested?

I don't know. I've already made up so many lies. She'll find out and it'll turn out like every other relationship i ever had.

Yeah. You shouldn't do that anymore.

I told her i was starting up a poetry website for ex cons.

You're retarded?

Is this the stop?

Yeah.

(the subway doors open. cold air rushes in. both men step out with steam billowing all about them.)

endoftheworld

endoftheworld, originally uploaded by beast of all notions.

we look so bored and european. this is me tickling about an hour before a headache kicks in.

i had a nightmare last night that i was dating some random dream generated girl and she was telling tales about me on the internet and having sex with marvelous marvin hagler. there was nothing i could do about it because hagler would just kick my ass.

that's all

pussycatmatt

pussycatmatt, originally uploaded by beast of all notions.

cocaine kisses, telephone near misses, girl drinking coke.

its his party and he'll ignore if he wants to ignore if he wants to......you'd ignore too if you knew what he knew ta da, da da, dat!

i'm getting fluffy fat

whatthetim, originally uploaded by beast of all notions.

tim's touching jessica's leg but he is staring at my penis. tim want's some of the puerto rican pecan mushroom head, the saucy soldier of vaginal fortune, the throbbing baby kong.