Dialogue from 'Vampyr the Geek'

Pshhhht! Chicken blood, schmicken blood. Hand me my hair clips.

There's something really odd about that Dr. Daedelus. Something dry yet...sticky.

How old are you boy? Perhaps old enough to get punched like a man, eh? Old enough to stare into the oblivion of my southwestern heart? Old enough...to geek...the chicken?

Tommy. Kick those house lights on, Tommy. These goddamn lightbulbs are hotter than the suns in hell. What? Fuck the show. My life is more important than this bullshit show..40 minutes of dribble drabble. Okay. I'm better now. Turn on half the lights. Y'know what? I'll just turn on this flashlight. It'll look spooky. Trust me, babe. Okay. Action!

To what do we owe this pleasure, uh, visit, Daedelus? Huh, what? Say again! I'm addicted to these carrots and i'm chain chewing them all day and i can't hear anything over all the crunching in my face. Go ahead, i'm going to just stand hear with my mouth open so i don't chew. Go ahead, shoot.

Geek the chicken! Geek the chicken! Geek the chicken!

I came to this town in peace but you all want me to leave in pieces. You call me a monster? You're the monsters! Hey now, alright! It's rumble tumble time.

Narrator: And so ends the tragic, yet sexually potent tale of Vampyr the Geek, who came to this dust bowl town looking for a mythical pair of panties and two dogs named left and right. He came, you called fowl, he was like "What?" and then you screamed "Gotcha!" Hey now, let's get mellow now. [then Lil Wayne's "Shooter" starts to play softly]