midgets: the answer? stilts!
he's so wobbly up there but still look at how tall our little man is. hey little guy flip us the bird! ooops there he goes cracking his large skull and half spine on the pavement (his over sized organs playing broken symphonies on the lips of his torn skin) while the crowd cheers and cries.
hey! here comes another little fella on stilts. this one is holding a cloud of balloons and whoops there he goes. no no you'd think those balloons would slow his descent but they just add popping noises that cover the sound of his eye balls exploding on impact.
there are all kinds of midgets on stilts. there are ones with long legs and short torsos, there are ones with short torsos on thick leg stumps, there are some with limbs so short they look like heads sewn to pillows and there are others so small they have to wear neon billboards that state "i'm such and such from where oh where." I see midgets with two faces, i see midgets in viking armor, i see midgets with squished noses making them look like baby gorillas, i see a bruce lee midget, and a flying nun midget (she is attached to a "jehovah" midget by thin cables that allow her to sway back and forth between his legs...ooops and there they go proving gravity), there are clown midgets, zombie midgets, star wars midgets, corporate midgets and one angry midget with a shirt that reads "i'm a fucking dwarf you motherfuckers."
do they put dwarve criminals in regular prisons or do they have dwarf prisons? one would imagine that a special prison would have to be made because they (the dwarves) would just slip through the bars of a normal prison or flush themselves down the toilet and such or they'd use their magic powers to escape.
i was once in a bar (suprise suprise) and i witnessed an angry midget standing on a barstool threatening a female bartender because she would only serve him half pints of beer. She leaned over in the middle of one of his brazen howls and spit right on the back of his throat. He clutched his neck, spun and fell face first to the floor. Someone picked him up, put him in their duffel bag and ran off. i passed out on a dumpster that night.
hey! here comes another little fella on stilts. this one is holding a cloud of balloons and whoops there he goes. no no you'd think those balloons would slow his descent but they just add popping noises that cover the sound of his eye balls exploding on impact.
there are all kinds of midgets on stilts. there are ones with long legs and short torsos, there are ones with short torsos on thick leg stumps, there are some with limbs so short they look like heads sewn to pillows and there are others so small they have to wear neon billboards that state "i'm such and such from where oh where." I see midgets with two faces, i see midgets in viking armor, i see midgets with squished noses making them look like baby gorillas, i see a bruce lee midget, and a flying nun midget (she is attached to a "jehovah" midget by thin cables that allow her to sway back and forth between his legs...ooops and there they go proving gravity), there are clown midgets, zombie midgets, star wars midgets, corporate midgets and one angry midget with a shirt that reads "i'm a fucking dwarf you motherfuckers."
do they put dwarve criminals in regular prisons or do they have dwarf prisons? one would imagine that a special prison would have to be made because they (the dwarves) would just slip through the bars of a normal prison or flush themselves down the toilet and such or they'd use their magic powers to escape.
i was once in a bar (suprise suprise) and i witnessed an angry midget standing on a barstool threatening a female bartender because she would only serve him half pints of beer. She leaned over in the middle of one of his brazen howls and spit right on the back of his throat. He clutched his neck, spun and fell face first to the floor. Someone picked him up, put him in their duffel bag and ran off. i passed out on a dumpster that night.
posted by Herminio Jacome at 12/22/2004 10:42:00 AM
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