At work with vodka

It's 10:30 maybe. I was just thinking about the ability to breathe underwater and how i'd like to have it and why i'd like to have and why it wouldn't work out for me.

Remember these two images: The Graduate where Dustin Hoffman is at the bottom of the swimming pool/Rushmore where Bill Murray is at the bottom of the swimming pool

There's an issue of Namor, The Sub Mariner where Namor is at the bottom of the swimming pool sulking and his cousin Namorita butts her head under the water to talk him out of it.

If i could breathe underwater i could get away from it all. I'd hole up in a sunken submarine and watch Spike TV. I could go somewhere only deep sea divers and frog men dare. I'd inhale my own tears. I could take a dump and not have to take a shower soon after. Diarhea would be a temporary tail. If i swam quick the trail would look like my guts falling out. I could see creatures that no one else has ever seen. I'd be scared shitless. I'd swim an inch at a time always ready to throw up at the shadow moving just two dark feet ahead. I could find the ruins of Atlantis. Corpses and corpses. Corpses and corpses. All those corpses swaying with the final knowledge that even utopias end. I could eat bloated mermaid hearts.

I drowned once and once is enough.